What goes on in my mind! A little note from me…. I may seem odd or different to you but that something that comes as part of me just like our eyes and ears are too. You may have brown eyes and I have blue, you may be stereotypically “normal” whereas I’m looked at as “weird” and “sensitive” too. I would like to be like you but there is nothing I can do. I was born to see the world differently and that’s ok too. Yes, I see things differently…. Yes, I hear things more loudly…. Yes, I smell things more strongly than you do…. Yes, I taste things more reluctantly…. Yes, I feel things more sensitively compared to you…. But what can you do? I wrote this letter as often things that come easy to others don't come easy to me and also to help people to understand AUTISM is a part of me and always will be. Some days are better than others however others can feel like a never-ending hill. Sometimes I can attempt and do more and smash your expectations and other days I'll be below them. It means that sometimes I want to do something but can't that day. So please don't be offended. I worry that I disappoint people when I can't communicate which often leaves me in distress. I tend to avoid my goals as I'm afraid I can't reach them. This may seem as I'm not trying or being difficult but sometimes I just need time. You may also see I suffer with anxiety. This also affects me. Yes, I’m on medication to help me but that doesn’t make me weak. So, if you see me experiencing it please don’t judge me for who I am. You may also see I struggle with depression. Yes, I also need medication to help me with that. So, I may seem down or in a low mood but please don't blame yourself as it's not something that I’m in control of and isn't anyone's fault sometimes I can come across as quite rude but don’t take it personal it's just my mood. You may have seen my scars, they are a part of me and it shows what I have gone through. Please don't be alarmed or worried. I’m open to questions if you have any.
I loved that the class sizes were small, I was never been good in a regular school environment. I loved the art and history lessons, I loved the teachers, everything felt relaxed and you were able to get one on one attention from the teachers. I passed 6 GCSEs, I was expecting none. The way exams and lessons were done was much better suited to me. I went on to achieve 6 A levels in various subjects and a degree in photography. I currently work in healthcare. I just want to say a big thank you to everyone at Cloughside and Junction 17. I received the help I needed and I am grateful for all the staff involved during my stay there.
Even though the reason for attending Cloughside is not a positive one I can definitely say that I was able to take away some lifelong memories that shaped me into the girl I am today, recovered and looking forward. I struggled to attended lessons at first but the staff were unbelievably supportive and consistently catered to my own individual needs to ensure I gained the most I could from my time there. Miss Johnson, the art teacher, helped me not only feel better when I was having a bad day but also helped me to discover my passion for expressing myself through art. I still paint from time to time now, if I am feeling really overwhelmed and stressed I grab a canvas and use that to form a picture, thank you endlessly for that. Every teacher that supported me throughout my time there were patient and understanding, helping you learn as well as making sure you felt comfortable and safe, knowing that at any moment you could always ask for a moment away or to have a distraction. Although there is one teacher that I would like to mention. I sat my first maths GCSE today which wouldn’t have been made possible without the guidance you gave me. A maths classroom used to be something I feared but it was made welcoming, usually with Harry Styles, and that is a memory I will always keep close. One of the main achievements was getting back the ability to feel like it was possible for me to become unstuck. I joined at a time where school was too much to handle so I wasn’t getting the correct education and I struggled with just getting out of bed. After being at Cloughside I learnt that I was capable of learning what I had missed and getting up became easier, I had a routine back in my life and that really helped me believe that I could begin to move forward. I may not have had many great academic achievements, but I learnt to laugh again, smile, have conversations with people about things unrelated to being unwell, allow myself to enjoy the little things in life and to start looking at my future instead of standing still.
It was my first time in the school system where I felt heard, and that my success and aspirations mattered to the staff. Whilst previous discussions of my progress and trajectory were on reflection negative, talking about reducing expectations, and making 'realistic' plans, the staff at Cloughside made me feel that what I desired and wanted from life was achievable. This alone was a huge shift in mentality for me, and has lead me to where I am today! For those at Cloughside now - Whilst the world may feel like it's closing in, it'll soon open up for you. You can do this!
I can't begin to express how impressive Cloughside College was. I felt supported by every single teacher, and they even went out of their way to help me in subjects like German that weren't regularly taught in the classrooms there. One of my big takeaways from my time there was how important a careers education was, and the opportunity to have external speakers come in was really inspiring. I also remember the trip to Yorkshire Sculpture park was great fun. The compassionate, caring nature of the teachers there made all of those things a possibility in such difficult circumstances. I still have a book with messages that some of the staff wrote for me when I left, and to this day those messages remind me that the staff at Cloughside College truly believed in me more than most other teachers I have ever had.
Some of my most positive memories were from my art and food tech lessons where I was able to come in and create things I’d never done before. I also really enjoyed the group activities we did in the hall these really helped and were always a good distraction. Before coming to Cloughside college I had never studied art and never had much of an interest in it however throughout my admission I spent more and more time in Miss Johnson’s class and really picked it up and ultimately this became something that really helped my recovery. In also achieved a level 1 & 2 qualification in art which at Cloughside college which allowed me to go into to study art at college after my discharge from Junction 17. After leaving Cloughside college I went into study art and design at level 3 in college with the hopes to go to university and began working as a support worker once turning 18. I am now at university studying paediatric nursing. All the staff at Cloughside college are brilliant and the work they do is amazing. I can confidently say I wouldn’t be at the stage I am now in my recovery if it weren’t for the brilliant teachers who always encouraged me to push myself.
When I first started attending Cloughside College initially I was extremely nervous and anxious. However, this soon faded as I created great relationships with all the teachers at Cloughside. All the staff made me feel welcomed and supported me in my studies. My favourite lessons were Art, Health and Social Care and Food Technology. I thoroughly enjoyed all my lessons since not only were they fun to be in, I learnt so much about myself as well as the topics I was studying. Attending Cloughside college has given me so much determination as well as motivation for the future. It gave me a distraction from the ward and it gave me a purpose to get up in a morning. I honestly can’t thank the staff enough for all their support whilst I was there. Cloughside college have been a major part of my recovery and will always have a special place in my heart. After leaving Cloughside College, I enrolled at college, studying a 2-year Level 3 Health and Social Care course. This will then lead me to university, where I will study Mental Health nursing. I would just like to thank every single member of staff at Cloughside College for all the support that you gave me during my admission. I only have happy memories during my time there, and these I will cherish forever. It is because of your kindness, support, guidance, and care that I am now able to achieve my dreams of becoming a mental health nurse!
Hello, I am a student at Cloughside College. I hope when I’m gone you will all continue to appreciate the teaching staff at all times. Cloughside have helped me with my education and also my mental health. They have given me confidence when I have been worried about falling behind. They have also allowed me to take my time. This means that they have pushed me further because they knew I could succeed. I enjoyed my time here. Thank you, good luck #staypositive